He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
is that a dick in a sweater?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
