Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
