well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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