Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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