I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
