you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My life is pants optional.
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