I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
