Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
