Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
