Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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