haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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