The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
