Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
