she was so not down for the gang bang
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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