they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
