I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want a musical about memes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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