I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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