I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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