ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
