buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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