Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
