Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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