i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
