he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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