Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
