saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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