Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
