I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
