the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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