did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
