i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
