Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
