i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
