do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
