girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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