The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
