i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
