considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
