if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
