alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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