flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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