he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
