turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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