im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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