Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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