But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize