So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize