He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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