Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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