Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
