you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
