lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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