Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them

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(716): View more from New York

Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

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(913): View more from Kansas

"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.

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(206): View more from Washington

He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro

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(714): View more from California

I've never sung with balls in my mouth

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