I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize