Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
