no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dicks are not precious.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize