it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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