and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize