3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
