i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
