My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
