My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
