Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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