I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
