Your tits are I can't wait for
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
