watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm at about main and main street
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
