Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
