Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
