All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
